So long 2010...

I wonder if I took as much thought about my day as I did on the very last day of the year...would my days be different? Would they be filled with more purpose or intentionality?

My mind is bombarded with question like:

How could I have navigated 2010 differently?
Did I handle the crisis' appropriately?
Was my response to dissapointment a positive or negative reflection on my thoughts about my God?
Did I make the most of every opportunity I was presented with?
Did I share my faith enough? And what does the word "enough" mean? Seriously, when did my thinking on this get so distorted??? How can one share their faith "ENOUGH"??? It's not as if "enough" will get me a prize, earn me a spot on the A-list, or even allow me to finish well. "Enough" is minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day...my ENTIRE life lived out before others reflecting my creator; you know, the one we welcomed at Christmas time born in a manger to save the world. "Enough" is faulty thinking and there will be none of that in 2011...well, at least I'm gonna make a concientious effort to put enough by the wayside.

Did I invest in things that I feel passionate about? Well, I did take a few trips this year...and while I am in love with getting stamps in my passport, my trip this year had significant purpose. I traveled to Haiti with a group from my church to just love on some kids. Sounds easy right? I have never been more exhausted or fulfilled in my life. And while we went with a "purpose", we came back having been a part of something so much greater. Those kids taught us about true love, simple love. It wasn't about doing something for each other..it was about being. Pure and simple...a high five, a game of soccer, singing songs under the mango tree, letting them touch, braid and put vaseline in my hair, cuddling up in my arms and taking a nap on a hot and humid afternoon. I will probably never see these faces again...but I will be there with open arms looking for them in Heaven!

What if I spent every day asking myself these questions? Living each moment with intentionality and perspective....

So long 2010 and "enough"....

Christmas 2010

Merry Christmas 2010...I spent Christmas this year at my parents house. We had a relaxing few days together. We kept things low key and it was PERFECT!

This was our first year without one of us being home so it was different to say the least. We all agreed later that it was one of those days that we enjoyed the time spent with each other however, when the day was over, the presents unwrapped, traditions completed and wrapping paper picked up off the floor, we welcomed the day being over. We worked so hard to not "Feel" like anything was wrong but in reality...everything was wrong! One of us was missing! So, to honor Bryn and make us feel better...we decided to put a picture of her on our table while we ate...so we could feel like she was in some small way a part of what was going on!!!

I went "out of the box" on mom's present this year & got her a new shower curtain to update the look in the front bathroom. Along with the curtain came a few accessories to help with the metamorphisis that will no doubt take a few shopping adventures to complete. The curtain is now hung & it looks fabulous!!!!

I got a new comforter for my bed. It's black and white and PINK! What's not to love??! I already have lots of ideas floating around in my head about what type of artwork I will create to go on my walls. Don't worry..I will update with pictures once I have it completed. I'm super excited to set it all up and have a completed look...something different for this new year!

Dad got a new book called, "The 12th Imman" by Joel Rosenburg. We're all big fans of his so our names are all on the list after Dad finishes. The report so far is that it's a gripping book.

November Fun....

I've been absent from blogging for a few weeks now but with a good reason. My sister came home for the month of November and I spent as much time as possible with the family. In fact..I even moved back into my parents house while she was here so we could spend as much time as possible together. It was a great time. Lots of laughs & giggles late into the night.
We celebrated Christmas early which of course means our traditional fondue dinner. It was divine! Definitely something we look forward to all year long.
What's Christmas preparations without some Christmas baking? My friend Donna made these adorable snowmen and reindeer cookies made out of Nutter Butters. So I had to try my hand at it. They turned out great and we had fun in the process.
Brynden also celebrated her BIG 3-0! We kept it pretty low key but had a great time just being together. Good thing we didn't put ALL the candles on her cake or we might've burned the house down! :) lol...Love ya sis!

We had fun opening gifts early....
I got a cool laptop sleeve, a humidifier and a 3 whole punch. I got everything I asked for which makes me wonder what in the world I'm gonna get from my parents at christmas time. hmmmm..... I will no doubt be VERY surprised!
Sadly, all good things must come to an end and Bryn had to fly back to Juneau. We loved having her home for those 4 weeks and made lots of great memories! I've decided that being the one left behind is like drawing the "short straw"....never fun. Christmas will be different this year but I am determined it will still be good!

A Mini Attic...

Miles: Miss Wiens can I see in the back of your car?
Me: Sure, but I'll warn you..it's kinda messy.
Miles: It's ok, our van is messy.
Me: Ok, but I warned you.
Miles as he peers into my trunk: It kinda looks like a mini attic.
Me: I've never really thought of it that way but you know what...You are right!

These items can currently be found in my mini attic:
*1 inflated blue swimming raft
*1 highschool yearbook....oh the laughs and memories
* an old lunch bag from last year (don't worry, no leftover lunch ordishes)
* Rainy Day Jazz CD cover
* a long handled ice scraper
* random papers
* a blanket for picnics
* a soccer ball
*2 bag chairs
* a cup

Guess it's time I clean out "my attic".

Mascara Markings

Tears pool, threatening to make their uninvited appearance. The heart aches. The situation seems grave. Phone calls are made. Tears are violently pushed aside, deep breaths, the lump in my throat is firmly lodged and refuses to leave.

Then the request is made...."please pray! He isn't doing well."

Finally a text is received and a smile cracks the mascara marked cheeks...
Surgery went well and he is back in ICU. Doctors and nurses are doing what they do best; caring and tending to every detail for his best recovery. God has a plan...still has a plan...has ALWAYS had a plan.

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11

Admitting defeat...

I'm boldly admitting defeat! Raise the white flag and wave it as a banner for all to see...I need help & I can't stand it any longer. Not one more day to pass, one my hour or second to regret. Not one more day mentally beating myself up because I'm not "superwoman" and can't seem to "keep all the balls juggling" or hold it together. My classroom is a disorganized mess and I can't take it any longer!

Here's my faulty thinking:
Internally I say to myself, "I know where everything is...each paper has a place in a specific stack" and if I were to be asked to locate something I would know exactly where to look. It's my controlled clutter. But in all actuality: I hate looking at it. I hate everything about it! It's not an inviting environment to work in and it keeps me frustrated and frazzled on the inside. Falling prey to the routine negative thoughts towards myself, day in and day out...like a bully who taunts his victim.

So I've enlisted help! (she doesn't judge me)

My dear friend Michelle, & teacher helper, has mad skills when it comes to organizing! You should see her room! And while it may sound like I'm struggling with jealousy, hear my heart when I say, "I'm weary of hiding behind the stacks of paper and "controlled" chaos."

I want O-R-D-E-R!!!!!

Stay tuned for pics in the near future...Operation "transformation" is in progress! And hopefully *yep, there is still hope!* this will start me on a search for healthier organization skills, less internal self battery, and an over all healthier well-being and perspective!

Everyday Gratitude update...

Are you up for a challenge? I was...and so I've committed to find 1,000 things that I am grateful for. There is no time limit but only a challenge to look for the simple blessings each day that bring a smile, challenge my integrity, and strengthen who I am. There is a tab towards the top of this page called Everyday Gratitude where I will be keeping my journey through this project.


I leave you with a few ideas found on my everyday gratitude list....


Fall brilliance

The privelege and responsibility to vote (I took this great picture & then realized I put the sticker on the wrong date...oops! The emphasis and importance should be placed on the fact that I actually voted...on the right day!)

November

Summer flowers that refuse to fade with Autumn frost

A few of my favorite books... (Hey, don't knock Little House On the Prairie..I have great childhood memories of this series!)